Football is a gentlemans game, played by morons.

Rugby is a morons game, played by gentlemans.

(Bernie Fineman, Chop Shop)

new choice screen

change?

British wanted that Iceland gives them money.

But since the Icelandic alphabet does not contain letter c, they could only send them back - ash.

facebook..

How can you divide a fart in 5 pieces?

Easily. You just have to fart in a glove.

Look above the head:

I always liked Kmeleon since it gives you what you want to see. Some see his head from the front, but I just see two huge boobs.

God: OK, Adam i create the perfect woman for You. She can drive, does not argue, is always willing and can cook.

The price: I will amputate You right leg.

Adam: OK, Lord You convinced me. What will I get for a rib?



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/30/2010 11:00PM by guenter.

you're quite perceptive panz, never noticed that..it's actually splif's motif signature, wonder what he was thinking, looks like zelda's armour

gunter, thanks God he only sacrificed the rib . if you think about it, adam was quite the shmuck, he listened to her on fruit choices when he SPECIFICALLY KNEW HE SHOULD NOT EAT FROM THAT DAMNED TREE..

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disrupted
adam was quite the shmuck, he listened to her on fruit choices

You could not even trust Eva(s) with the dessert, that is why most chefs are male now.

But Adam could not know. No other chefs around then



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/01/2010 07:32PM by guenter.

Oriental Redheads!

After the baby was born, a Japanese father went to see the obstetrician.
"Doctor," he said in a panicked tone, "I don't mind telling you, but I'm a little upset because my daughter has red hair. I see no way she can possibly be mine."
"Nonsense," the doctor said. "Even though you and your wife both have black hair, your ancestors may have contributed red hair to the gene pool."
"It isn't possible," the man insisted. "We're pure Oriental."
"Well," said the doctor, "let me ask you this. How often do you have sex?"
The man seemed ashamed. "I've been working very hard for the past year. We only made love once or twice a month."
"There you have it!" the doctor said confidently. "It's just rust."

just rust

A man dies and goes to hell. There he finds that there is a different hell for each country.

He goes to the German hell and asks, 'What do they do here?'

He is told, 'First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the German devil comes in and beats you for the rest of the day.'

The man does not like the sound of that at all, so he moves on. He checks out the USA hell as well as the Russian hell and many more. He discovers that they are all more or less the same as the German hell.

Then he comes to the Greek hell and finds that there is a long line of people waiting to get in.

Amazed, he asks, 'What do they do here?'

He was told, 'First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the Greek devil comes in and beats you for the rest of the day.

'But that is exactly the same as all the other hells - why are there so many people waiting to get in?'

Because maintenance is so bad that the electric chair never works, someone has stolen all the nails from the bed and the devil is a former Government employee, so he comes in, signs the register and then goes to the cafeteria !

If a Greek says so, then it must be true!

http://www.chilloutpoint.com/art_and_design/the-best-of-ad-campaigns.html

i think the dwindling euro value is proof enough
it all started when greece hosted the olympics..that was a big mistake. country wasn't ready for it and caused massive expenditures with no solid returns
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/business/3770981.stm

Drachma is coming back!

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disrupted
i think the dwindling euro value is proof enough
it all started when greece hosted the olympics..that was a big mistake. country wasn't ready for it and caused massive expenditures with no solid returns
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/business/3770981.stm

The article mentions a lot of "may" words; "may" do this, "may" do that, etc. "May" rarely puts food on the table and when it does it is usually done with borrowed money or money that simply does not exist. I think perhaps all societies are finally beginning to learn this, again. "May" must be the most abused and misused spin word in every language.

Charlie

~~If it ain't broke, why screw it up?~~

And "maybe" and "perhaps" also. And "that depends". Do not mention "well, we will see".



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 06/09/2010 01:09AM by panzer.

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panzer
And "maybe" and "perhaps" also. And "that depends". Do not mention "well, we will see".

And lets not forget when a politician says "I would" or "If elected I would."

Charlie

~~If it ain't broke, why screw it up?~~

Or I promise, I will do everything that is in my power, let me tell you, I beg you to listen to me, I swear on my mother grave, it is likely that, I predict, let it be known that ...



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/09/2010 02:33PM by panzer.

And then there is the old favorite "I think" which as far as I am concerned means "I really don't know".

Charlie

~~If it ain't broke, why screw it up?~~

From heroes to zeros:

British Petroleum - BP - Beyond Petroleum - British Pigs - Bankruptcy Protection?

• Fabio Capello was wheeling his shopping trolley across the supermarket car park when he noticed an old lady struggling with her bags of shopping. He stopped and asked, "Can you manage dear?" To which the old lady replied, "No way. You got yourself into this mess, don't ask me to sort it out!"
• What do you call an Englishman in the knockout stages of the World Cup? A referee.
• What's the difference between Wayne Rooney and Shrek? Shrek can save the day.
• Three hours of football and Robert Green is still England's top scorer.
• I can't believe we only managed a draw against a rubbish team we should easily have beaten. . . . I'm ashamed to call myself Algerian
• What's the difference between the England team and a tea bag? The tea bag stays in the cup longer.
• I'm shocked at Wayne Rooney's outburst after the Algeria game. Who knew he could even string a sentence together!
• What's the difference between a faulty jet engine and Wayne Rooney? The jet engine eventually stops whining.
• Apparently that fan had no trouble slipping into the England dressing room – Robert Green was guarding the door

"Sky sports reports: on Monday Spain meet Honduras at Jo'berg,
on Tuesday Greece meet Argentina at Polokwane and
on Wednesday England meet France at the airport"

Quote
panzer
• Fabio Capello was wheeling his shopping trolley across the supermarket car park when he noticed an old lady struggling with her bags of shopping. He stopped and asked, "Can you manage dear?" To which the old lady replied, "No way. You got yourself into this mess, don't ask me to sort it out!"
• What do you call an Englishman in the knockout stages of the World Cup? A referee.
• What's the difference between Wayne Rooney and Shrek? Shrek can save the day.
• Three hours of football and Robert Green is still England's top scorer.
• I can't believe we only managed a draw against a rubbish team we should easily have beaten. . . . I'm ashamed to call myself Algerian
• What's the difference between the England team and a tea bag? The tea bag stays in the cup longer.
• I'm shocked at Wayne Rooney's outburst after the Algeria game. Who knew he could even string a sentence together!
• What's the difference between a faulty jet engine and Wayne Rooney? The jet engine eventually stops whining.
• Apparently that fan had no trouble slipping into the England dressing room – Robert Green was guarding the door

very harsh panz..but unfortunately true

(if you're a yank and wondering what's so funny about this pic; it's because the u.s. still uses fahrenheit )

West Coast Customs Berlin:

Jana: I lived in LA for two years.

Alex: Oh. I am sorry.