Off-Topic :  K-Meleon Forum
All which isn't K-Meleon related. 
Pages: PreviousFirst...4567891011121314...LastNext
Current Page: 9 of 17
Re: joke
Posted by: panzer
Date: July 19, 2010 02:10PM

My wife thinks sci-fi is something that teenage boys bury their noses in to escape the fact that they are unattractive to girls.

Dogman, Amazon

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: joke
Posted by: disrupted
Date: August 06, 2010 09:53PM





Options: ReplyQuote
Re: joke
Posted by: disrupted
Date: August 12, 2010 05:18AM
Options: ReplyQuote
Re: joke
Posted by: desga2
Date: September 04, 2010 04:02AM
Options: ReplyQuote
Re: joke
Posted by: Matt
Date: September 14, 2010 01:07AM



Quote
Albert Einstein
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.


Options: ReplyQuote
Re: joke
Posted by: panzer
Date: September 16, 2010 03:42PM



Options: ReplyQuote
Re: joke
Posted by: panzer
Date: September 16, 2010 03:43PM



Options: ReplyQuote
Re: joke
Posted by: panzer
Date: September 16, 2010 03:44PM











Options: ReplyQuote
Re: joke
Posted by: panzer
Date: September 16, 2010 04:00PM



Options: ReplyQuote
Re: joke
Posted by: panzer
Date: September 16, 2010 04:02PM



Options: ReplyQuote
Re: joke
Posted by: panzer
Date: September 16, 2010 04:02PM



Options: ReplyQuote
Re: joke
Posted by: panzer
Date: September 16, 2010 04:04PM



Options: ReplyQuote
Re: joke
Posted by: panzer
Date: September 16, 2010 04:05PM




Options: ReplyQuote
Re: joke
Posted by: panzer
Date: September 16, 2010 04:06PM



Options: ReplyQuote
Re: joke
Posted by: panzer
Date: September 16, 2010 04:07PM



Options: ReplyQuote
Re: joke
Posted by: panzer
Date: September 16, 2010 04:08PM



Options: ReplyQuote
Re: joke
Posted by: panzer
Date: September 16, 2010 04:09PM












Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/16/2010 04:09PM by panzer.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: joke
Posted by: panzer
Date: September 16, 2010 04:11PM



Options: ReplyQuote
Re: joke
Posted by: panzer
Date: September 16, 2010 04:12PM

Here's a personal ad from Craig's List:
Beautiful Young Woman Seeks Wealthy Husband

Okay, I'm tired of beating around the bush. I'm a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I'm articulate and classy. I'm not from New York. I'm looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don't think I'm overreaching at all.

Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around 200-250. But that's where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won't get me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she's not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I get to her level?

Here are my questions specifically:

- Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics-bars, restaurants, gyms -What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won't hurt my feelings -Is there an age range I should be targeting (I'm 25)?

- Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east side so plain? I've seen really 'plain jane' boring types who have nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I've seen drop dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What's the story there?

- Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, investment banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?

- How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY

Please hold your insults - I'm putting myself out there in an honest way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I'm being up front about it. I wouldn't be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn't able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice home and hearth.

* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 432279810
-------------------------

THE ANSWER

Dear Pers-431649184:

I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament. Firstly, I'm not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here's how I see it.

Your offer, from the perspective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a crappy business deal. Here's why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring my money. Fine, simple. But here's the rub, your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity... in fact, it is very likely that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won't be getting any more beautiful!

So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation accelerates! Let me explain, you're 25 now and will likely stay pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!

So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy and hold...hence the rub...marriage. It doesn't make good business sense to "buy you" (which is what you're asking) so I'd rather lease. In case you think I'm being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It's as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.

Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So,I wonder why a girl as "articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful" as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K hasn't found you, if not only for a tryout.

By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn't need to have this difficult conversation.

With all that said, I must say you're going about it the right way. Classic "pump and dump." I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of lease, let me know.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: joke
Posted by: panzer
Date: September 16, 2010 04:15PM







Options: ReplyQuote
Re: joke
Posted by: panzer
Date: September 16, 2010 04:18PM

Original ad:
LARGE CRIB WANTED
I need a large(tall) crib for my 9 month old. The crib I have right now is too small - he keeps climbing out! I need a crib that is too high for my baby to get out of it. Please respond with pictures. Contact Julia @ ********@verizon.net

From Me to ********@verizon.net:

Hey Julia,

I may have the perfect crib for you. It is a very large crib that has some features to prevent your baby from escaping. Please let me know if you are interested.

Thanks,

Mike

From Julia ******** to Me:

How big is it? Do you have any pictures of it?

From Me to Julia ********:

Julia,

It is very large. As I said, it has modifications to prevent escape. The entire top perimeter of the crib has been reinforced with a metal frame that is connected to a car battery. When someone tries to escape the crib, they will be given a gentile electric shock, which will discourage them from attempting to climb out of the crib again. The price includes a 12 volt car battery, but a higher-voltage battery can always be purchased, depending on how fat your child is. Here is a picture of the setup:



I am currently using the crib for one of my friends who happens to be a midget. He tends to frequently get drunk and violent, so we put him in this crib when he starts getting belligerent. The battery works great for keeping him in, so I am assuming it will work great for your child. The only reason I am getting rid of it is because the midget was recently arrested for arson, so he won't be around for a while.

I have something else that you may be interested in as well. Are you tired of waking up in the middle of the night to the sound of your baby crying? With this clever device, you won't even have to get out of bed to calm your baby.



It is a little mobile that I invented called "The Lullibinator." Simply hang it above the crib, and the microphone will detect when the baby is crying. If the crying reaches a certain decibel level, the box will spray a calming mist of pepper spray into the crib. It trains your baby not to cry in no time! It worked great on the midget when he started yelling. It comes with 2% CS pepper spray, which is practically harmless. It can be upgraded to bear mace if your child continues to cry. I have decorated the Lullibinator with friendly smiley faces to comfort your baby.

I am asking $50 for the Lullibinator, and $250 for the crib/battery combo. Let me know if you want to set up a time to stop by and check this stuff out.

Thanks,

Mike

From Julia ******** to Me:

Oh my god

From Julia ******** to Me:

Please tell me you're kidding. You're kidding, right?

From Me to Julia ********:

Julia,

Why would I be kidding? I thought $250 was more than reasonable. I got a lot of use out of these things before social services took my kid away. I still do whenever the midget comes over.

Mike

From Julia ******** to Me:

I...don't know what to say to you. You are a disgusting excuse for a human being. How dare you ever think that I would use this for my child. Don't you ever e-mail me again, you scumbag.

From Me to Julia ********:

Julia,

I've been called some harsh things for my haggling tactics, but you seem to have been very offended by the price I have offered. I am sorry; I had no intention of offending you. I will drop the total price to $200 for everything, and I'll even throw this in for free:



Now you won't have to get up to give your baby a bottle when he is thirsty. This handy crib-bottle will allow your baby to quench his thirst any time he wants. It doesn't have to necessarily be filled with tequila (like I said, this crib was set up for a midget). It can easily be filled with Gatorade, breast milk, or whatever else your baby prefers. Throw in a can of food and the baby can practically live on his own!

Please let me know when you are going to pick this stuff up. I am going to Atlantic City for the weekend, so I need you to get it before I leave.

Thanks,

Mike

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: joke
Posted by: panzer
Date: September 17, 2010 03:18PM



Options: ReplyQuote
Re: joke
Posted by: panzer
Date: September 17, 2010 03:19PM



Options: ReplyQuote
Re: joke
Posted by: panzer
Date: September 17, 2010 03:19PM



Options: ReplyQuote
Re: joke
Posted by: panzer
Date: September 20, 2010 01:11AM





Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/20/2010 01:12AM by panzer.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: joke
Posted by: panzer
Date: September 20, 2010 03:56PM

Yesterday on sport channel S2:
Car race. A young woman appears on screen (girlfriend or wife of some driver).
Commentator asks other commentator if she came to the race herself.
Commentator replies:"Someone is owner of this (her). She didn't came herself, I am sure ..."

21. century - women are still slaves for some men sad smiley

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: joke
Posted by: panzer
Date: September 21, 2010 02:14PM













Options: ReplyQuote
Re: joke
Posted by: panzer
Date: September 21, 2010 03:37PM



Options: ReplyQuote
Re: joke
Posted by: panzer
Date: September 23, 2010 02:41PM



Options: ReplyQuote
Re: joke
Posted by: panzer
Date: September 24, 2010 02:21PM





Options: ReplyQuote
Pages: PreviousFirst...4567891011121314...LastNext
Current Page: 9 of 17


K-Meleon forum is powered by Phorum.